Janus, Erase Me.
By Ivorie Nicole
In Roman religion Janus is an animistic spirit of doorways, a symbol for transition.
For so long every where I went reminded me of you.
Every song, every sound & every situation.
Every place good or bad.
Every meal I ordered & even every outfit I wore was haunted by the ghost of you.
I was to focused on being loyal and loving you through your pain that I pained myself.
I talked so much sense to you that I lost my own damn mind.
Now I’m not one to blame but damn,
you made me a hazard to myself.
So loyal to you I betrayed myself, so in love with you I stopped loving myself.
& you just left me crying on the cold hard floor.
It wasn’t until that moment I released I was the one who needed to stand because that floor was as cold as your heart, you didn’t even offer me your hand.
You just opened the door & told me to go.
They say that every end is a new beginning that when one door closes another door opens.
You paralyzed me into thinking that I’m an issue and that any door I open will only be a trick door leading me to no where.
It’s a living hell when I can’t erase you from my mind.
So Janus, I’ve realized it’s impossible to say goodbye to you.
So I’m not saying goodbye,
I’ll never erase you. I love you.
Those moments of time will forever exist, I can’t change that, I can’t change what we were but I can change a few things,
Janus, it’s time to let you go,
People like you make me realize that
It’s true some are just incapable of love.
I’ll embrace you being gone and cherish the time we had.
I’ll love you for what you taught me and I’ll love you for letting me go.
Your life is going somewhere I don’t belong & my life is going somewhere you don’t belong.
As much as I want you there, you’re not supposed to be so it’s time to say so long my love.
I love you, but I love myself more & I have to look at my reflection forever so, so long my love.
Spread the word
” Learn to let go – this is the secret of happiness. In the end, only three things matter: how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” – Buddha