How many times do you hear someone say..
“It takes a village”?
When I first discovered this phrase I used it to begin a personal journey.
I needed to find my village.
Little did I know that with finding my village I needed to know where my place was within my village.
I soon realized that my place was fluid.
My place is fluid because to different tribe members I hold different roles.
To some I am a leader.
To others I am a friend, a co-worker, a sister,
and others see me as a secondary, a bi-standard.
My place is fluid, also because I am a growing spirit who will uphold various roles within my lifetime.
The most confusing & difficult thing I took forever to acknowledge is the importance of support.
An old African proverb is famous for it’s saying:
“It takes a village to raise a child”
Without a doubt, mothers need support in later days of pregnancy, during birth & even more so once the child is born.
In order to raise a healthy child the community around him has a very strong impact on his subconscious imprints they will influence on the young one’s life.
Many of us know understand how important this influence is when raising a child
have you ever considered it when applying it to your marriage or any serious relationship?
With a divorce rate of 50% and growing (within the United States), have you considered the village in which your marriage exists?
Do you both have the support from your peers?
Do you have a “chief” of marriage you look up to for guidance in difficult times?
Do you have your own individual roles to fill before returning home?
Or do you have village members poisoning the water hole?
If they are, it’s contagious.
Did you know that the decisions you make influence your village.
Your arguments, your choice of clothing, your car, your lifestyle have a direct influence on your village members.
A researcher named James Fowler discovered that divorce could actually be contagious.
Can you believe that you are more likely to divorce your spouse, if your friend does? Read about it here.
I hope you realize you need support within your marriage, or any committed relationship.
You need supportive roles to help you when life get’s difficult.
You need emotional support, and encouragement just as much as you need guidance and rituals that bring your village closer together.
We can’t survive this world alone no matter how hard we try.
I have watched two important relationships of mine slowly crumble into destruction at the hands of my village.
I would cry for hours feeling betrayed by one’s who I thought supported us to realize they did nothing but divide us.
You are as strong as the people you surround yourself with.
Hi, I’m Miss Ivorie
If you need help finding your village, or understanding your role within your village, I am here for you.